Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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