i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
love makes seman taste better
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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