is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
