There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
