Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
