we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
