i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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