I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I will be naked everywhere
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
