break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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