Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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