this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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