nut hugger
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
