it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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