I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
