You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
