Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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