im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
