I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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