you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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