mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
