You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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