you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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