Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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