What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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