in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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