You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
