But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
