yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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