Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize