How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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