can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
