My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize