dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Its about making memories worth repressing
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
