no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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