awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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