if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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