Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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