Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
