Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
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We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
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I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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