I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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