how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
