I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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