Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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