I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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