is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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