That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
