she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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