Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
