I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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