so that wasnt chicken after all
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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