Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
