You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
