she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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