I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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