Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary

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  (202): I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god (202): you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary http://tfl.nu/3z0i
  Replies (27) Good night (1394) Bad night (448)
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  (546): View more from

  Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.

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  (546): Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money. http://tfl.nu/o990
  Replies (65) Good night (2806) Bad night (662)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?

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  (216): ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex? http://tfl.nu/h39u
  Replies (30) Good night (709) Bad night (4718)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.

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  (480): You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker. http://tfl.nu/8odk
  Replies (15) Good night (511) Bad night (3711)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.

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  (703): We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college. http://tfl.nu/pxwn
  Replies (11) Good night (4532) Bad night (603)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now

  (310): View more from California

  Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...

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  (520): His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now (310): Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok... http://tfl.nu/uoe6
  Replies (14) Good night (4248) Bad night (1022)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls

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  (504): i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls http://tfl.nu/i5gr
  Replies (12) Good night (4747) Bad night (887)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.

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  (918): It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes. http://tfl.nu/hbc7
  Replies (8) Good night (3168) Bad night (924)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree

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  (215): i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree http://tfl.nu/vm1y
  Replies (2) Good night (1496) Bad night (840)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Those were the highlights of my night.

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  (717): Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves. (717): Those were the highlights of my night. http://tfl.nu/jaow
  Replies (8) Good night (1908) Bad night (671)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.

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  (832): Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories. http://tfl.nu/6x0g
  Replies (1) Good night (2041) Bad night (547)
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  (858): View more from California

  You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...

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  (858): You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there... http://tfl.nu/mklp
  Replies (5) Good night (783) Bad night (1693)
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  (626): View more from California

  Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...

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  (626): Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything... http://tfl.nu/rago
  Replies (19) Good night (2841) Bad night (686)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead

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  (512): Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead http://tfl.nu/k2d6
  Replies (5) Good night (696) Bad night (391)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex

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  (515): she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex http://tfl.nu/uys9
  Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (787)

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