The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone