That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
