How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome