problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
