He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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