If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize