Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
did you just send me my own nude
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
